In Spring
he said he toppled a statue in Dublin town
or was it County Down?
To the docks of Liverpool he fled
never sleeping in the same warm bed
An official document with a new name claimed
his passport photo remained the same
Then off to parish America he said
to find an heiress to be wed
Arriving in the Windy City
seeking work and seldom pity
he poured beer in empty pails
and was paid for telling tales
After kisses and practiced sighs
before one golden sunrise
he removed a cream colored girdle
off a virgin named Myrtle
Seven of his children lived
he told them lies but called them fibs
Still, a legend in his own time
after amber pints of Early Times
he'd mumble on his stool
when they called him "Irish"
or played pool
Then a lonely usher all in black
opined it was a shame
that no one knew his name
but Grandma Myrtle said n'are a blink
she kicked him out, to swim or sink
'cause he made her use rags
account a' the drink.